The whole of the rabbit year has not been the smoothest year. A year filled with frustration, betrayal from ex-col, family tension, pressure for child-bearing, mom's op, 2 consecutive funerals etc.
The new dragon year does not look too good either. The good vibes just ain't there. I just wan to stand my grounds firm and live my own life. But things are always nt up to u when u married. Both parties stand hv to be considered. Many a time I just wanna walk away. Wished I've never stepped in. Things or shows tt I watch ain't helping. Like the female discrimination ytd, it's shown that although the girl work hard to meet the expectation of her husband and his family, things won't get better. In the end a divorce is the solution. A good representation of human's unlimited greed and desire.
We wear masks everywhere. At work I wear a mask to like my children n enjoy talking to parents. At his home I wear a mask to be a guest and neutral so o don get hurt again, at my home I wear a mask to pretend to b happy and unaffected by the pressure and expectations of my family.
There is no comfort zone for me to be myself until I'm overseas. Away from all these nonsense. Away from all the expectations.
When can I be myself? Where can I be myself?