Happy Mother's day to all the mothers...
esp my own mommy..
i really wan to wish u a Happy Mother's day... when i see people holding flowers, cutting cake, having dinner... i m very affected that i m not with u to celebrate...
i made a cake for you. but i did not go back to cut with u..
But my wishes for you is sincere... there are things that i wan to do but have to make an otherwise choice and i thought you would understand and don't mind.
the slam of the phone.. the last phrase of sacarsim... broke my heart.. and maybe you are simply disappointed too..
a sudden gush of tears came.. uncontrollably.. even when i shower at his place... in an area not of my comfort zone... i cannot help it..
when daddy was around.. i always rebutt him.. nail his words on the head.. now i have the exact retribution from you..
the idea of bias-ness cannot leave my mind.. you always seem to understand and tolerate him... you express your concern and love for him through a letter and actions..
you always claim that you are fair.. your also show concern to me.. yes.. i saw those.. but those words that you shoot maybe becos your were concern or lack of vocab... is too hurtful and makes me feel that i m redundant.. you with the new mock-up family.. always makes me jealous.. with lunch outings, sweet call-ins, special request for dinners... maybe i m really a bucket of water.. need to be married off and will not belong to the family..
blame it on my work schedule.. blame it on my poor time management... blame it on me.. is all my fault.. I cannot fulfil everybody's wishes and act by your wishes all the time..
is myself to blame.. i will blame myself.. because it is all my fault... my fault for not putting you in the first priority.. my fault for wanting to join another family and add burden on myself.. my fault... is all my fault
