writtern @9/18/2008 10:02:00 pm

what is your passion? what is your dream?

my greatest satisfaction is to see my students gain confidence and interest in what they used to fear, hate..

to my utmost competance.. i try to do it for them.. even at my own expense..

but why is it that everytime i feel that i have been taken for granted..

today.. just now. i just became a 'sandbag' for another person..

out of nowhere.. start scolding me.. questioning me.. say until i have no manners at all.. like my parents never educate me.

hmm... i tried calling you.. i needed you so much.. cos i was full of 'unfairness' in my stomach..

but cannot get thru.. so i call yat.. n was pouring my sorrows to her.. cos she knows that i took the assignment at a low market rate.. given my qualification.. a min of $200-$250 per month one ok.. i'm only taking $160..

n to tolerate a complicated family.. parents divorced, mother not home 80% of time, grandparents dun speak english.. noisy siblings..

I m not nosey.. i dun ask if u dun wan to tell.. apparently i know that her family is in quite a bad shape..

First lesson want to see my cert.. end up? i dun even see one of the parent ard.. then what? expect me to bring cert every lesson and hopefully you appear from thin air one day? for once i still worry that i will not get paid..

by right i only account to my student and the payor to my service.. why shud i bother abt the rest of the people. i'm not ur relative lo..

realli feeling WTH now..

the slient pain of a passionate educator...

the passion is sliced by the distorted society and system..

writtern @9/15/2008 10:32:00 pm

writtern @9/15/2008 11:33:00 am

does love always associate to lust? or do they eventually equate after a while?

a random thought.

1) made agar mooncake.. my annual thing every year. this year trying green tea flavour. hope it works.

2) days passed.. months goes.. years flashed.. M i getting old?

3) syl's dance studio is coming in! called D Dreamz International Pte Ltd.. featuring adult ballet, latin dance, ballroom dance, hip hop, jazz, yoga, kickboxing, kids martial arts, baby ballet, mother and child dance, kids hip hop.. n a mystery program for naughty girls..

Friends and interested, pls keep a lookout in Dec. Officially opening in Jan 2009.

I m so excited... dance is my unrevealed passion. need to go stretch my cold muscles already!

writtern @9/10/2008 02:35:00 pm

when one day.. you have no date, ur frds are busy, ur bf goes out on a company gathering, u are the last one in ur office, no more energy to do any more work, with a growling stomach but stubbornly refuse to eat alone..

what will you do?

Option:
1) go home and see what you ca do at home
2) go home with a packet dinner and watch a movie on the laptop
3) continue to call some frds, hopefully you can get someone and tag with them
4) decide to cook or bake something, go ahead and buy ingredient
5) call ur bf and make a fuss out of it
6) goes shopping alone
7) sends mooncake to ur bf family (when he is not with u) and heads home after that

see? i have choices that i dun know how to choose.. cos they are not what i want to choose..

Choices without a choice... Paradox of life

writtern @9/06/2008 07:23:00 pm

I m ok. I m ok. I m ok.

~Huat ah..

thanks for concern. I'm just ranting. dun nid to bother/worry.

things have been busy. currently fully booked all the way until 24 sept. haha... but pls do sms me or call me. I m still ok some nights for chill out sessions.

writtern @9/04/2008 01:44:00 pm

Probably it is the time of the month.. maybe it is the time of the year..

stress is building up.. bit by bit.. nt work.. def nt frd.. just personal. just me. just my family. just his family.

many frds have heard abt the story abt my future MIL.. if all of u assume so.. then be it.. (till date i refute all such claims)

yes.. now whenever the thought of facing her alone in the morning, have breakfast.. is a trauma.. hence i refuse at all costs to stay over.

might say i'm just over sensitive.. but u guys never know.. u are not the one who got ur butt squeeze and tested.. not the one who worries abt not having ur period.. not the one who gets frightened by never ending menses... u are not the one where u worry tat ur virginity get questioned.. in fact.. the more times u used 'it' the more powerful u are considered..

UNFAIR

men also claim that in their encyclopedia.. woman is an unclassified species.. no particular reason for their tantrums, never know when they are satisfied.. blahblahblah..

how abt the fact that guys are the ones who pissed us off..

A joke goes like this:
Man: why do woman speaks 30 000 words a day while a man only speaks 15 000?
Woman: Bacause a man always need the woman to repeat what she says
Man: What?

~diaoz

we repeat ourself or agenda numerous times becos u guys just find it fun to start a conversation by saying" what are u doing tmr?"

or we have to be able to provide solutions to u when u are in need of help.

but when we needed u badly.. u can simply brush it by saying a 'sorry, i should have done that'

n we have to swallow it. cos we used our arse to chose u.. our bad.

woman can never understand why man carries 2 heads and no brain.. and man can never understand why woman think with their heart and not their brain..

that's why dun blame homosexuality. becos only ur species knows u best.

or can we just make gers stupider or man more sensitive.

dun tell me to accept the fact tat man n woman are born different. i know. but for decades and generations, man n woman have been fighting to stay together.. or staying together to fight.

whichever the case.. i dun wan to accept. if life is gg to be just so unfair,

1) Personality: Kind and faithful, traditional
Romance level: 1.5/10
level of sensitivity: 1/10

2) Personality: casanova
Romance level: 10/10
Level of sensitivity: 9.5/10

then i follow Jo's choice.. i choose to be only with myself.

then i never have to worry and rem his bday, how many montheversay or anniversary.
I never have to say "it's ok" and he realli take that it is ok for me.
I never have to wait for him during a date
I never have to accomodate or please his frds/colleagues
I never have to show face to whoever he wans me to just to give him face
I never have to scarifice my slp to bark at him to slp earli or to iron his clothes
I never have to try to go on a date or movie or alight a car ride just to take train home with him.

I think girls have enough. it is time for u guys to show that u are worth it.

rem.. it is not just 1 present or 1 particular action that touched us.. it is a accumulative actions that keep us.

*man just think that by getting u an expensive present, they have done their job. or by making a great dinner for once.. they have scored 100%. yes.. for 1 action, the effect = 1 day

writtern @9/02/2008 12:49:00 am