This is how we look like after wrapping for 5 hours.. til 5am!


Actual day with the birthday girl


The pretties (partial)


Me n Babe with my retro look.. retro a not?

writtern @3/28/2006 04:42:00 pm

I am always proud of my integrity. and i always will keep it that way. so i hate it when i know my integrity will/ has been doubted.

I have tried to put others stand prior to myself. I got hurt being too sensitive. But sometimes it is the tone that counts.

Now i follow all standard procedures and report to whoever is most directly on top of me, more misunderstandings arise.

M i just too sensitive?

i am not only angry with all the negative 'evidence' but more disappointed at seeing how things are being discussed through heated arguements. I heard my names being called over n over, good or bad i dun know. But each time it sent a shocked down me and each time i got more depressed, even i tried to understand what you said.

if i were to ask GOD one question, i will ask him "why am i always feeling that my luck is low since the day i was born?"

since young mum called me a 'bai jia nu' say i spoil things and cost more money to be spent. i was thoroughly hurt then, cos i understood what it meant at the age of 11 i tink. maybe she didn't mean it but it hurt me.

I'm just a human, moreover a girl.

I need to be appreciated to motivate me to go further

I need room for failures as well

Back to the issue, i know you guys side me cos u trust me. But i am feeling so down becos i know that when this goes out, ppl who dun know me are wary of me becos my integrity is being put onto a weighing balance, DOUBTED. Also becos i was sided and not held responsible, i m just afraid that you get into the bad name of showing favouritism. But would anyone outside understand? NO

That's why i wud gif up money and whatever i can, even to leave the place.. just to prove myself clear.

in the cruel society, there allows no mistakes, no failures, no misunderstandings, no explanations, no trust.

Trust, i just see the ugly side of it.

Trust, now i know that with it, i may not be well off with ppl i trust

Trust, a now ambiguious term, a fine line between harmful n beneficial

Should you trust anyone now?

writtern @3/27/2006 05:29:00 pm

writtern @3/27/2006 01:55:00 am

Celebrate one and a half year with my Babe.. hee hee..

Thanks babe for the nice Pasta Fresca treat.. it was humongously delicious. very good service also. Nice~~~

will upload the pic i took.. not much. cos i was busy with the yummy-licious food. and my sweet babe agreed to go clementi with me to shop ard despite the extreme tireness he was suffering. i know i was evil but i realli had to get somethings from there n i will not be free the next few days as i will be taking over his working shift and attending dearest Yat's birthday. hee hee..

realli excited abt yat's party.. sorie babe.. it is suppose to be a retro party, ur main com made it a cheapo party. haha.. but we help u save money lei. haha.. rem to bring scotch tape to do ur door gifts k?

i alrdy decided what to wear for her party, and i hope auntie jessi can help me with the make up and hairdo. haha. alrdy sound like my own party.. no! My party's theme is Superstar.. haha.. still finding a suitable star that i can imitate.. But to all ppl who is cuming for my birthday, No jay chou or ah du's style!

haha.. no stereotyping, but these styles are no styles.. like casual wear, defeats the whole purpose of the theme.. maybe i shud make it stricter like Hollywood..?

wanted Bollywood initially but too troublesome for my frds, see i care and think for u all first lei..

wanted casino, cos i realli wan to wear the bunny gers outfit.. so cute.. but babe is against it.. haha..

so i settled on Superstar.. at first wanted to be Marilyn Monroe, but seems like i dun suit blonde hair.. now need to search again..

writtern @3/23/2006 02:32:00 am

My darling Diana safely gave birth to Baby Des'riee.. hai.. i cannot spell her name thou i chose it.. haha...

here are the pictures..i got to carry the little one yest! whao! she slept peacefully in my arms... and she REsponded to my calls.. she will open her eyes when i call her name! so happy..

writtern @3/22/2006 01:06:00 pm

today sux.. woke up feeling tired as usual..

went to wax for my darling diana who is giving birth to baby dahmita tml..

went back to sch n tried to do assignment

so tired after that i slept on a study bench and was shockly awoken by a stupid female security. damn.. dun wan to say what happened.. but she was toking nonsense.. start to suspect if she is crazy or is she a real campus security.

went for the most boring lecture ever..

came out w/o keys to go back room

sux.. feeling super hungry.. wanted to cook cos vegetable kept very long.. if spoil waste my mummy's hard earned money.. but someone did not understand why i have to cook even if just for 2 person.

went to waffle shop.. busy day but low revenue.. hai... kept myself occupied chatting there..

was feeling really lousy.. "xiang ku dan shi ku bu chu lai"

wanted to do so many things.. but things keep screwing up.. end up my plan all screwed too. hai..

now gotta pick up myself and go bathe..
then bury myself in a pile of books and papers to prepare help sheet for test tml.. hopefully it can help me..

sux sux sux

bryan is away.. dun know at some wholesale market..

went singapore river on sat.. dating..

nice and happy trip, got home scolded by mum... but it is ok..

*xuan* i tried to post something happy here..

dun know why.. feeling so farked up now.. bryan thinks i'm making things difficult for him, friends think i'm just in a PMS mode..

i just need a little considerations..

sometimes it is not worth it to think of all aspects for many ppl and end up to get urself so screwed up..

hai..

But thanks jackson again.. for printing the tutorial solutions for me..

thanks colin for sharing same view on the 'cannot understand' lecture as me..

i just want to get out of this thing.. but i dun even know what thing it is..

any wise man save me? woman also can..

i love everyone.. onli to find that no one loves me as much..

Lili.. dun cry.. dun worry.. thou i can't be there for u that day, i still love u.

can someone just love me??

writtern @3/20/2006 10:56:00 pm

oh dear oh dear.. haven been studying.. can't really make me sit down n pick up the stupid notes and book.. nvm..

a shocking news.. my bosses read my BLOG! FREAK OUT..

hahaha.. Mr J, n Mr D.. pls stop peeping at ppl's blog.. no one will say bad things abt u guys la.. haha. except if i got funni pics abt u guys.. maybe i will consider posting..

Bleahz.. but thanks for ur concern abt my studies and work.. *bow 90 deg*

hee hee...

writtern @3/15/2006 12:29:00 am

A lot of ppl see them i've not been concentrating on the correct thing, studies.. true... why am i spending $61++ per yr to slack? n i'm so caught up with work outside.. seems like it is a wake up call for me. a bit late.. but better than nothing.. thanks to jackson, qiu xia,mary and many many good frds who keep reminding me abt tests, tutorials and studies.. i will work hard. not gg to work this week... so that i can study for my test.

just some pics from my waffle shop and waffles tasting


Me and tariq on our way to suntec


We had Cheese cake.. CHeese...


Then met david to taste waffles.. yummy...


Doesn't this makes u wanna drool?


We went to Mccafe.. not bad la


Something i did out of boredom and amused babe

writtern @3/13/2006 05:48:00 pm

I'm ok le.. just needed a channel to vent my fustration. To xuan, dun feel despair when u see blog entry like my previous. it is too common for relationship tp have friction. not all relationship is fairy tale-like. like those we dreamt of day and nights..

I always read ur blog on ur tots on BGR. all i can say, gif it a shot. it is all about accepting each other flaws and always trying to balance things out. no doubt it's a tiring job.. but like teaching, it is statisfying and this time u enjoy the fruit of ur labour through enriching ur emotions.

anyway.. maybe i nid to post more happy pic abt me n my dear.. n not onli complains abt him.. just that i can't find any new pics that i look good in to post.. too shagged nowadays.

writtern @3/09/2006 01:38:00 am

Happy Birthday... To whom it may concern

I still remember.. nothing special. But i just remember.. dun know if u will see but all the best to u in ur life..

writtern @3/07/2006 01:30:00 am

又被爱伤了一遍
无所谓当作成长
刚刚走开的人
烟还点着味道却淡了
我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有
我要快乐我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨我早应该割舍
我要快乐哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的全都是假的
只有眼泪是真的
把从前想了一遍
谢谢了伤我的人
想做乐观的人
每种雨声听了都不冷
我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有
我要快乐我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨我早应该割舍
我要快乐哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的全都是假的
我的决定是对的

writtern @3/06/2006 12:17:00 am

He say i m drunk.. on a glass of beer.. am i?

i just feel so lousy.. feeling the extreme side of emotions..

Leave me.. all those who loves/loved me leave me..

myabe i didn't keep them.. maybe i dun love them..

i'm asking for it... now i say Leave me..

let me be this lonely pauper of love

living on this merciless earth for the pathetic roots of all evil

I cried.. more than 1 time..

i dried my tears.. cos my frd told me to cool myself..

i stoned.. for dun know how long..

listening to anymore things that just does not fit makes me irritated

i wan exactly answers.. nothing to infinity or approximately.. Exact is the key

I ask him how much u love me?

He said' a lot.. more than i can calculate'

As a mathematician.. tt's an indefined ans..

I'm just too logical..

so i need time to be illogical and nonsensical..

hence i often have tantrums.. to be wilful

I dun feel good..

I miss myself... where are u Christine or even Meiting?

i lost myself.. to someone/ somewhere.. is that such things?

Did u catch me along the way?

return me to me..

tears dry up... eyes droop tired..

i'm still so awake... insomia he said

i dun wan to look so happening.. when on the inside i feel tired and empty

i dun wan to look glam when actualli i m nothing but an empty shell

i dun wan to gif ppl the impression i'm strong n special when i'm just plain innocent when i face ppl

stress me up..

let me break...

i nid to be free..

set me free..

age is catching up on me...

yet i have to mix with younger ppl.. n behave like them to blend in

how long can i sustain in tis vicious cycle?

how long can he sustain from my numerous unreasonable mood swings like this?

i love u..

is that all we can say?

i'm a person of actions more than words..

words make me happy n touched..

actions make me love u..

Love is such a diverse theme

i love everyone..

but does everyone loves me?

timing is impt.. luck is too

i'm dazing..

i wanna see the fireflies..

i wan to go dating..

to have some coffee..

watch a movie...

go shopping like a bitch

call him at night to tell him i missed him since he left my place..

why am i working my ass off for moo lahs now?

trying to get us to stay like a couple under one roof..

how long have we not properly date?

and allow all the married couple stuffs to bother us

like cooking, laundry, grocery, sharing a study table, a bed

i said i nid some love..

heavy books is all u said

i cried again..

for no reason when i type n look at a electonic monitor

i weigh..

somehow staying together got us physically closer.. but emotionally further

somehow 'i love u' does not mean that impt to me..

writtern @3/05/2006 04:35:00 am